night

פליס נבידד

mother

gold

all is forgiven?

hand

when I write I see with my own hand

בשר

לחוות על בשרי-
אתמול כשגמרתי הבנתי

thirst

גר

גר בניו יורק וחי בארץ

על

על החיים ועל הארץ

air

say

how

how well I answer
good I listen
clear I sound
long I speak

how much I think
want
need

how much I make
take
fake

how far I go
how low and long

I
hide
late
old.

seats

Three times a week at 7 pm, I used to lay down on the couch at the analyst clinic.
The journey into the past has taken me places I forgot.
Lands of longing, pain, memory and history.
Anywhere and nowhere, lying on a couch 3 times a week.
Alone, but not really.
The clinic became a place where I can go places, where I can find things out, where I can look into my unknown.
Where I can be torn apart and put back together.
It became a very special place.
It became mine even though I knew others have been using it too.
I miss you.

bones

אני

מה אני ומה תפילתי ומה כולי בעיני כביכול? כלי מלא בושה, טיפה סרוחה ולא יותר

ירוחם פישל המסטר

self

star

sky

airports make me feel lonely
away from where I came from
far from where I go to

waiting

pink

house

like

like a book on a shelf
wanting to be picked up
chosen, touched, flipped through,
read

like a car left in an empty lot
waiting to be used
to live.

map/for my grandmother

איך הגעת לכאן
משם
ממדבר
לארץ זבת חלב ודם

fountain

חבב חבט חבל חבק חבר חבש חגג חגר חדל חדק חדר חדש חוה חול חור חזא חזה חזק חזר חטא חטט חכה חככ חכמ חלב חלה חלט חלכ חלל חלמ חלפ חלצ חלק חלש חמד חמה חמס חמצ חמר חמת חנה חנכ חננ חנפ חנ ק חסד חסה חסכ חסל חסמ חסנ חסר חפה חפז חפנ חפפ חפש חפת חצב חצפ חקה חקנ חקק חקר חרב חרג חרד חרה חרז חרט חרכ חרמ חרנ חרס חרפ חרצ חרק חכר חרש חרת חשב חשד חשכ חשל חשנ חשפ חשק חתכ חתמ חתנ חתפ חתת

room

see

I went to see Darryl today
because I can't see you.

bed

When I lay down in bed, my body’s weight presses against the mattress, my head rests on the pillow and I feel the weight of the covers on my body – I am home.

pillow talk

your words
pearls
stolen from the sea
adorning your neck
your adam’s apple
lies

three notes

1.

What is the color of my words
What is the color of my voice
What is yours?
Can you see my wind pipe
Its empty
My tongue
Lungs
The blood running through my veins
The smell my mother gave me



2.

In a constant state of waiting
For something to happen
Someone to come
Me to become
You
Took me places I did not know existed
And got lost

Eyes throw up pieces of me
Shards of invented reality
It bursts out loud
And then it stops

Restless I go fishing in the lake of love
Lacking



3.

When I say come
Please come
Will you
Come
When I simply say come
I don’t mean for you to run
Just come.
When you say go
I will run